Several months ago Stefa Gardecka, my friend from
The text is about Jacek
Zmyslowski, and it tells about my first paratheatrical experiences and how
important these projects were for my thinking about theatre and growing as an
artist.
Jacek Zmyslowski and My
Participation in His Projects
My first meeting
with Jacek was a formal conversation in preparation for The Vigil. The
conversation probably took place in the room behind the office....or in the
room above the performance space, I’m not sure. Jacek was kind, focused and
inquiring. You could feel his profound attention. I remember he emphasised that
my experience in pantomime was unimportant (by that time I had been active for
a few years in amateur pantomime theatre in Bielsko, led by Tomaszewski's mime-artist
Witold Daniec). Better that I forget about any techniques which I may have
picked up. Jacek introduced me to the rules of participation. Actually, he said
that my participation was expected. It
was essential that I was ready to be part of the action. I don't remember if he
said much more about rules. Rather, he was leaving things very open, although
he was also somehow warning against intellectualisation, attempts at
rationalisation or “play-acting.” Unfortunately, anything I might write now
would only be my imagined memory of this conversation.
The memories I have
of my participation in the Vigils are similarly vague. I remember the moment of
being led into the room for my first Vigil. There were already a few people
there. A few were led in after me. Each of us was shown, by those leading, a
place to crouch or squat down in the room.
When everyone was in, an air of expectation began to grow. It started with gazes around, someone turned
to look behind. I didn't know how many
were leading, and who was participating and who was leading, except for two of
them (probably) including Jacek. Slowly
people began to move. Since I didn't know how many were leading, and I suspect
the other participants didn’t know either, I didn't know when an action came
from one of the leaders, or whether it was a reaction, or an initiative of a
participant. At first the actions were simple: someone got up, took a few
steps, and crouched down again, someone carefully turned around. Attention pervaded the smallest of gestures,
was present in glances, and reactions. In time the actions began to grow and
gain complexity, becoming more energetic and dynamic. Chains of actions and
reactions emerged, growing organically, pulsating, intertwining. Compositions
arose, or were created, in which people took part in pairs, in small or large
groups. There was rhythm, dance, spontaneity and dialogue. There appeared
sequences of incredible energy and trance-like features in which people were
“flying”, transgressing the limits of their known physical expression. In these
moments, the action of the group and of each of the participants seemed to be
directed by some sort of intrinsic inner power of its own, an internal,
indescribably powerful, bright impulse of incredible wisdom, which meant that,
swirling in those para-acrobatic dances and actions, letting ourselves be led
by inner nature, no limbs were broken. There were sequences of activity of
extraordinary lyrical power, quiet, delicate and radiating sensitivity. Moments
occurred when a participant slipped into something sentimental. Then those leading, becoming aware of falsity
and pretension, usually let this fade away by itself, or helped in bringing it
to an end, tactfully indicating its inappropriateness. These tactful and very
rare instructions or suggestions were very discrete, and usually unnoticeable
by those not directly involved. These
were the ways the project was led - creating, nourishing, supporting, and in
dialogue through action.
I am writing these
words after nearly forty years. At that time I was a young man, eager for the
world and any intense experience. Today, I have been through theatre school,
training in a range of acting techniques, further paratheatrical experiences at
the Laboratorium, work with Grot’s actors, workshops with Odin Teatret,
Gardzienice, and a number of other theatre artists, as well as years of my own
experience as an actor, teacher, acting coach, and a stage director.
The meeting with
Jacek and his work was formative for me. These projects initiated me into the
concept and praxis of authenticity of action, whether in daily or extra-daily
life, particularly special, or theatrical. The practices and revelations, which
Jacek and we participants gave ourselves and each other, remain important to me
in my life, my theatre work, and my teaching.
I remember a moment
from perhaps my first Vigil, when I was watching what was going on. As I
remember it today, I think that in watching I was beginning to engage in some attempt
at interpretation, and I began to see what was happening from the perspective
of “what does it mean”. I had no notion of “what was going on”. I "did not understand". Watching my own “non-understanding” I
decided, or some internal programming inside me decided, to react. After all I
had agreed to participate. At that time
I was strongly programmed by habits associated with my understanding of acting
processes, in other words the need to interpret, and locate what I was seeing
in terms of “what does it mean” and an action, or rather “play-acting”, in
response to the interpretation of what I was perceiving. I saw “incomprehensive”, I interpreted “I
don’t understand”, and something inside me deepened that interpretation and
suggested seeing a “threat”. Because if I don’t understand, then what…. ? My reaction was to yell. I remember that to
this day, although I don't know to what extent that impression stamped on my
memory is true. Jacek was immediately next to me. In a moment he saw that
I was “play-acting”, that my reaction was calculated, and I was distanced from
it, that I was simultaneously the one who cried out and the one observing, but
the cry was a response to my idea, and not to what was actually happening. He
quickly brought me back to reality, indicated somehow that that was not the
way. There was great warmth and concern on his part, some kind of care-giving,
and also an ocean of trust. He acted extremely discretely, so that no-one else
could judge me. I don't know to what extent I understood then what was
happening, but it was one of those moments when a door to understanding the
intentions of leaders, and the worlds into which they lead, was ajar. Imagining, or acting out the reaction to an
imagined threat was not what it was about. After a while I was ready to join
the action. Jacek was giving support, and gently showing me the direction. His
authority was the authority of a friend, a wise and caring brother, leading
into an intensive group experience, full of discoveries of one’s own nature and
the nature of deep creative and life processes, and the ways to summon up and
shape such special experiences.
This was very rich,
and I could mine other scenes or traces from the Vigil, but I'm not sure if
that makes sense. It's hard for me now
to disengage from an analytical approach, difficult also to place a fragment of
a remembered scene or action on a time-line.
At that time I was not that capable of analysis, neither was it expected
of me. I leapt into these projects with
complete faith, and was initiated by the leaders in a transformative creative
process, in which we were all both sculptor and sculpture, voice and song,
choreographer and dance, which grew from actions and gestures that were, with
great subtlety, expressively and inspiringly articulated.
I participated in
the Vigils several times. I also took
part in Tree of People and the Mountain Project.
I remember several
important moments from the Mountain Project, doubtless because it was a unique
project, and happened only once. I was
walking in the group led by Mariusz Socha and a dark-haired Frenchman, Francois
Kahn. Before departure, Francois acquainted the group with the rules. He spoke in French, and for a moment
consternation reigned, before a long-haired bearded guy in glasses began to
translate. At that time, I didn't
realise that it was Grotowski. Then we
got into the van - why does it seem to me that it was a Ford? And off we went.
While I was growing
up I walked a lot through the mountains and forests, and have always felt good
wandering along trails and through wilderness. There were many elements of this
trek that were familiar to me. At the
beginning I thought: "what's going on?
They really think that walking in the forest is such a revelation?"
The silence introduced a meditative element, and I'm sure that most of us must
have been faced with the churning of the thinking machine in our minds, as well
as thoughts continually and obtrusively attempting to interpret, to understand
what it's all about. This was going on
now and again in my mind, but also the pleasure of moving through the forest
and along pathless tracts was absorbing.
During the trek we were a group in name only. I don't remember the leaders inspiring any
group dynamics. Rather by their actions
they modelled ways of moving or activity in relation to what was around
us. I remember a moment when we were
struggling through undergrowth. We
didn't walk in a line, one after another, which would have been natural and
easier, but most of us, if not all, struggled through in our own way. Verbal instructions were minimal, just a few
words throughout the day. There was
pig-fat which Mariusz had got from the food store opposite the theatre, before
our departure. Eating pig-fat was an
interesting experience. I had never
eaten anything like that before. We
didn't talk to each other. That was the
rule. About half-way through the trek, one
or two people had had enough, and backed out.
One of the techniques was very slow pacing along a dirt track after the leaders. I was not willing to deal with that. I was charged full of energy, and the leaders
moved in a premeditated way, step by step, at snail's pace. I resolved this by walking forwards and
backwards at the end of the line. Marek
Musial, who was also in the group, had a similar "problem." He solved it by crouching down, waiting for
the group to go some distance, and after a while catching up with them and
crouching down again. The trek also had
exceptionally beautiful moments. The
most beautiful moment for me was the first sight of the Mountain. Suddenly, all that laborious struggle through
undergrowth took on real meaning. We
came out of the forest onto the fields and saw the Mountain. It arose, solitary, like a volcanic crater
above the flat plain. It was a masterful
introduction of an archetypal and unusually powerful image. The landscape suddenly began to speak with
double the force. From that moment on, what
happened around me, was less essential. The most important thing became
imagining the goal ahead of us. The
project took on a dramatic dimension.
The image of the Mountain was so overwhelming that you couldn't resist
imagining some kind of mythical reality at its peak. In the same way the trek itself took on
mythical qualities.
We found Jacek in
the Castle on the Mountain, together with dozens of others. There were many elements in the activities
there, which did not appear in the Vigils.
There was music, there were amazing songs; Jacek played the guitar;
there were awesome drummers, a fire and magnificently prepared interiors. The activities were in some way reminiscent
of those in the Vigils, but richer in terms of rhythm and other elements. There were also many more participants, and
sometimes different waves of activity flared up in several places at the same
time. These were also interspersed with
sleep or rest, especially when a new group was arriving, and when meals were
arranged with care . I knew that Jacek was the leader, but his leadership was
barely noticeable. Those leading worked very well as a team. On the Mountain,
specific elements of creative experience intermingled closely with the communal
living created there, with meals, rest and practical work. This brought to life some quality absent in
the Vigils, which only lasted a few hours.
Some years later,
Grotowski distanced himself from the paratheatrical period of his work. He did this in his characteristically
definitive way. One occasion was in 1990 at a talk/meeting organised at the
Film Studio in Wroclaw when he visited Poland for a few days. He was critical both of himself and this
period of the Laboratory Theatre's work.
He spoke of the superficiality of the projects, of how hard it was for
participants to transcend the power of stereotypical notions of spontaneous
behaviour. I was lucky to participate in
projects from the last phase of the paratheatrical work, which were powerfully
transformative. Jacek was the artistic
director of the majority of the projects I took part in. I was a boy just setting out on a path of
artistic development and theatrical work.
Together with his team, Jacek showed me ways of intense and profound
research and investigation, and a practical experience of creative processes
through psycho-physical activities and group activities, which transgressed
stereotypes of what is known, and transcended the limits of our own
possibilities.
Jacek Zuzanski, December 2014 (trans. J. Kumiega, J. Zuzanski, S. Gardecka
& P. Gardecki).
